How lives change!

I stared hard at the clock, willing it to move. I had one minute left. On the other side of the bathroom door lay a stick that had the potential to change our lives forever. After what seemed like hours, the clock finally moved. I opened the door slowly, picked it up, and saw:

“Uh, honey!” I called to Tony who was in the other room on the computer.
“Are you pregnant?” he asked so nonchalantly
“I...I think so…” I whispered. “There’s two pink lines, and according to this thing that means pregnant.”
“Go to CVS and get another one…I know you want to.”

And that’s exactly what I did. I hopped in the car and prayed the entire way (all 5 minutes!) to CVS.
“Lord, I have no idea why this is your perfect timing. I know it is…you don’t make mistakes. But are you sure this is really the best time. I mean, I don’t really have a job; I’m just temping at that place. Once that’s over, who’s going to hire a pregnant lady? I’m not saying I don’t trust you, Lord; I’m just saying I really don’t understand the timing, and if you could let me in on your reasoning, that would be great!”

By the time I got back to the pregnancy tests, I was shaking. I was so excited, but scare out of my mind at the same time! I got the digital one, and took it to the counter. “Is this a good thing?” the cashier asked. I think she could see my shaking.
“Yeah…yeah. It just happened a lot quicker than we thought it would.” My Christmas present had been baby Colts stuff. That’s how Tony told me we could start trying to get pregnant. It was now February 4. Just over a month later. It’s not supposed to happen that quickly.

I got home, took the test, and started the waiting game all over again. After another hour (ok, two minutes), I opened the bathroom door again, picked it up, and saw:

I didn’t say a word. I walked into the room where Tony was, and just showed him. He got the biggest smile on his face that I’ve ever seen! “We’re having a baby.” He said. And we were!

3 weeks later, I saw this on the monitor at the doctor’s office:
And it all became so real!

11 weeks later, I took my first belly picture:
A week later, “Feety” became “Madison”:

16 weeks later, we saw her smile:

8 weeks later, I was ready to pop:

And then on October 5, 2008, she stole our hearts:
And just 5 days ago, she stole my heart again:

A year ago today, I had no idea what it felt like to be a mommy…but today I can’t remember what it felt like to NOT be a mommy!

The fun has begun!!

We have arrived at the hospital, and I'm all hooked up to the monitors. The cervadil has not been place yet, and I'm not sure when that is happening, but I'm pretty sure that they said they would leave it in for 12 hours, then remove it, check me, and start the pitocin. I'm feeling a little calmer now that we're actually here. I was kind of freaking out early this evening. It's just so weird that we left the house as a couple, and we'll be coming home as a family of three! I will try to post pictures as soon as I can, but the internet here is pretty slow, so I'm not sure how much Blogger will cooperate!! Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement throughout this whole pregnancy, and I can't wait to show off my daughter to you all! :-)

Guess who's back...but not so better than ever

I got a nice surprise when Tony called me Monday afternoon to tell me he was on his way to Best Buy to pick up our computer!! I only had to go 2 days basically...and surprisingly, I survived! :-)

Monday began my maternity leave, and I got a lot accomplished! I had to go to Target to return something, and exchange a couple other things. Then I headed over to Kohl's to see if I could find some pants for my daughter. Do you know how hard it is to find pants smaller than 6 months?! There are some for 3-6 months, but almost nothing for 0-3 months. You can find packages and racks full of onesies, but some pants to go with them? Nah, just let your child hang out in a onesie. Which I'm fine with (I guess) at home, but I don't want to be stuck at home all the time because I have no pants for my child! If any of you already mommies out there have any suggestions on where to find 0-3 month pants...PLEASE SHARE!!

Tony called me while I was at Kohl's to see if I wanted to meet him for lunch, so I headed over to the mall after I was finished there, and had lunch at TGIFridays with him. (We only had to spend $2! Yea for gift cards!) I then had to return something at Children's Place, and picked up a cardigan and some corduroy pants (0-3 months...can you believe it! but it was the only style I could find in 0-3) for the girl who needs more clothes like she needs a sixth toe! Then headed to Babies R Us to find a picture for her room : I headed home then for some much needed rest, and just chilled out the rest of the evening until the Monday Night Football game (which was great!).

Yesterday, I ordered all of my belly pics to put in "The Belly Book" and some for her scrapbooks and baby book. (which I'm doing today), then to the bank, and then to Wal-Mart. I ended up spending way more than I intended to at Wal-Mart, but once I got there I realized that I needed food for lunches...and Tony's off starting tomorrow until next Thursday, so we definitely needed more food than we usually have! I don't think I've ever seen our fridge, freezer, pantry, and cabinet look so full (and they still really aren't that full...) I guess it's something I will have to get used to!

Ok, I know the title of this post is "...but not so better..." and all I've talked about has been fairly good stuff. Well last night was not so great. I turned off my bedside lamp at about 11pm, and woke up at midnight with some mild cramping and having to pee...so I went pee, and went to lay back down. I woke up at 1am, 2am, 3am, and so on until I finally got out of bed at 8. I never really had any regular contractions during that time, but still felt crampy when I got out of bed. i had wanted to organize Madison's closet today, but I decided maybe I should just take it easy today. So I had some breakfast, drank some water, and just laid back down on the couch. I started to feel a little better, so I took a shower, and am drinking as much water as I can. I feel better now. I was so sure I would make it to the induction, and I realize its still a good possibility I will, but I'm not quite as confident as I was! I don't go to the doctor until tomorrow at 2, so I'm hoping everything stays under control until then. If I didn't start feeling better today, I was going to call. I didn't really want to because I figured they'd just send me back to Labor and Delivery, and I really didn't want to have to go back there again unless they were going to let me have this baby! :-) I think I was just dehydrated. Its really hard for me to remember to drink water while I'm at home. When I'm at work, my water bottle is never empty, but for some reason, it's not as easy when I'm at home. I was trying to think back to how much I had drank yesterday...and I don't think it was more than 3 glasses! At work, I had 3 bottles of water by 10 most days! So just trying to keep myself more hydrated today. I will leave you with the 40 week belly pic...which could possibly be the last one!

39 Weeks and a Date!

The nurse called me today to let me know I was on the schedule for an induction on Saturday, October 4. The plan is to go in Friday night to start the Cervadil (to soften my cervix), stay overnight, and begin the induction on Saturday morning. We're supposed to go in at 7:30 Friday evening, but we have to call an hour before to make sure there's a room available. I really hope this works out because it works so well with every one's schedule! My mom wouldn't have to miss any work for the delivery, and Tony and I would have the first week home by ourselves before my mom came down the following week to help out. Of course, she is our child, so who knows what she has planned! :-) I leave you with the 39 week belly!

Merry Christmas to me...just a little early :-)

I got a call from my husband on Saturday afternoon telling me that he had bought my Christmas present...and that he was giving it to me when he got home. I asked him why I was getting my Christmas present in September, but he told me that I would understand when I saw what it was. He came in the house carrying this bag...

Which I found this box inside...

And when I opened the box, I found this...

My wonderful husband, who spoils me WAY to much, bought me the new Coach diaper/tote bag. He knew I wasn't happy with the one from Pottery Barn, and this is how he solved it. A little over the top, yes, but I guess that's why I love him. The man would do anything to make me happy...whether its buy me something like this, or just be where I need him, when I need him. I couldn't have asked for a man to take better care of me than he does! I love him so much, and can't wait for Madison to be here to see him as "Daddy" as well as "Babe."

Speaking of Madison, I had my 39 week appointment this morning. My blood pressure is great, weight is great (15-16 pounds gained so far), and she was quite the show-off. Every time my doctor would start to put the Doppler on to get her heartbeat, she would do one of her stretches, and "kick" it off. I was measuring small, so my doctor had me get another ultrasound to make sure that she was growing OK. U/S tech said she's healthy, just little. She measured her at about 6 pounds, 2 ounces, which is apparently in the 19th percentile. So we have a little one on our hands, but I figure as long as she's healthy, I don't mind!

My doctor let me know that if I was still pregnant next week, then I would be put on the schedule for an induction that weekend (October 3-5). So it looks like it will be a little less than 2 weeks (at the most) before the little squirt is here! It's so surreal to have a "date" set. I'm so excited, but even more anxious now. I started to pack my bag tonight...but there's so much stuff that I will need up until the time we go to the hospital, I don't feel like I did much. I just have some sweats, t-shirts, hoodie, undergarments, slippers, and flip-flops in there now...what else do I need?? I can at least pack the video camera, but I can't pack my still camera until that day...

I'll post 39 week photos tomorrow...

Dear Madison...

My dear sweet Madison,

As I sit here tonight feeling you stretching inside my belly, I marvel at how amazing God is. You started out so microscopic, and now are close to 6 pounds! I first discovered you were growing inside me as two pink lines and the word "pregnant" appeared on the pregnancy tests. I was in shock! I was scared to death! But most of all, I was excited beyond belief! I didn't know at the time if you were "Madison" or "Baby Boy" (since Daddy and I hadn't agreed on a boys name), but I already loved you. Today, I love you so much more than I could have ever imagined, and I know my love for you is going to grow ten-fold the moment I see your face for the first time! I'm almost afraid my heart will burst, knowing how much love I feel for you now; I can't fully understand how I can love you even more!

That first time I felt you move will forever be etched in my memory. It was just a small flutter so I wasn't sure if it was you, or my mind playing tricks on me. But a couple minutes later, I felt you again...and then again, and I knew that was my baby moving! Ever since that day, you have been a mover! Your movements are usually not subtle either! You like me to know you're there! And even though you have hurt me a couple times, I am so happy that I get to feel every movement you make. Selfishly, I am really going to miss knowing your every movement after you are born. For the past 20 weeks, or so, I have known every movement you have made, felt every hiccup you've had, and it makes me a little sad to know that in a couple weeks, I won't know every time you move.

The day we found out you were "Madison" I was beyond ecstatic! I really was OK either way, but I know deep down, I really wanted a little princess, and I was so happy to know that I was getting my wish! I went out and bought you some clothes the very next day! I had been dieing to buy you clothes before, so I didn't waste anytime after Mommy and Daddy found out. Neither did Grandma! You'll soon learn that Grandma, Mommy, and Daddy love to buy clothes...your closet is so full, I'm kind of worried you won't be able to wear everything! But I can't wait to try!

I want to tell you a little bit about your Daddy, Maddie. He is the most amazing man in the world. You are so lucky to have him as your Daddy, and I don't want you to ever forget that! He will love you more than you will ever know! You are already his little princess, and I know that he can't wait to spoil you even more like one! Your Daddy is the most caring and loving man you will meet. He takes such good care of me, so I know what good care he'll take of you. I will warn you that sometimes you will think he's being a little (or WAY TOO) overprotective, but I assure you, it's only because he loves you so much, and doesn't want anything to happen to you. Please try to take it as a compliment, and be thankful that you have a Daddy who cares so much about you. I promise to try and keep him reasonable, but I can't make any promises! I pray that when you meet your Prince Charming, he is just like your Daddy. I want someone who loves you like your Daddy loves me; who takes care of you like your Daddy takes care of me; and of course who can tease you in the loving way that only your Daddy can to me! God gave you the best Daddy there is, and please don't ever forget that!

Madison, I love being your sole provider, and being the only one aware of some of your movements, but I know that is going to change very soon. I am ready to share you with the rest of world, but I am going to cherish, deeply, these last few weeks with you. I love you more than you'll ever know!

Love,

Mommy

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

I went to Wal-Mart for bread and milk...I got bread and milk, and some other things :-) I knew I was almost out of Cookies & Cream ice cream (not something we want to happen!), so I went to the freezer aisle...and these two tubs of ice cream jumped into my cart. I didn't want to hurt their feelings, so I let them come home with me! I can't wait to enjoy them!!! Don't judge, I'm 9 months pregnant, and Edy's slow churn is the one thing I've allowed myself to indulge in this pregnancy...nothing like having options! :-)

37 Weeks...

I only have 2 1/2 weeks of work left...seems unreal! The temp that is coming in while I'm on maternity leave starts Monday (if we've found the right person by then). It just all seems to be happening too fast! I'm not ready. Her room looks like a tornado went through...I'm just so tired when I get home, the last thing I want to do is hang things up, organize things, or just be on my feet in general. I really just want to curl up on the couch and watch my shows on DVR...it's much more relaxing!! I have a shower at work tomorrow, and one at Tony's church on Saturday. My mom and Andrew will be down Friday night, so at least I'll have her here to help me put that stuff away Saturday afternoon and Sunday. But I need to at least put away the stuff from the last shower before they get here...that gives me two days. I guess I need to step it up!
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One thing I can be thankful for is how great I feel. I never imagined I would still feel this good at 37 weeks! I can only hope the next 3-4 weeks are this comfortable! I haven't had any Braxton Hicks contractions, haven't had any trouble falling (or staying) asleep, am only getting up once (on the rare night twice) a night to pee. This has been way easier than I could have imagined! I hope labor and delivery go this smoothly!

What a day!

I'm walking to lunch today, taking in the sights and sounds of the Colts Pep Rally that's taking place on the circle. I'm trying to decide what I want for lunch, and decide the ham and pineapple sandwich from the Great Steak and Potato Company at the mall sounds good. I walk the rest of the way around the circle. I decide to cross Meridian street before I get to the corner since they have it blocked off, and I won't have to wait. I'm making my way across when I feel the toe of my shoe catch on something. A brick, a wire from the band, not sure, but what I do know is I'm tripping and going forward quick. I feel like I've caught myself, when I realize, "I'm going to fall in front of all these people!"
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And that's exactly what happens. I catch myself with my hands for the most part, but I do hit the bump on the ground a little bit. I think I scrape it more than hit it, but of course I still start to kind of freak out. I remind myself that I need to stay calm for Madison's sake, and keep walking, red-faced, to the mall. As soon as I get there, I head to the bathroom to assess the damage to the skin of my belly. Just a little red, so I decide to go get something to eat. I know I need to call the doctor, but I also know they will ask if I'm feeling movement, and honestly she's never very active right before lunch anyway. I know the only way to know for sure if there is a decrease in fetal movement is to eat, and wait. So I get my food, eat, and wait. I decide to start reading my book while waiting; about 10 minutes go by, and my book starts to jump. I've never been so happy to feel kicks! I decide to finish my lunch and call the doctor once I get back to work.
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I call the doctor and talk the nurse, knowing very well that she's going to tell me to go to Labor & Delivery to get monitored. So off I head to the hospital. I get there a little before 3, have to fill out some paper work, then get told to go have a seat. The nurse calls me back, and warns me that my doctor could order the 4 hour ops, so I could be there until 7, but since I am still feeling her move, haven't had any bleeding or contracting, I should be out of there in an hour or so. She hooks up the monitors, and tells me she'll be back in about an hour to check on me. I read a little, watch some pointless TV, and wait for her to come back. She comes back, lets me know "baby is looking good!" and I'm not contracting at all, but that my doctor wants the 4 hour ops. I have some feelings of being blessed that my doctor cares that much, but more annoyance that I have to be there for another 3 hours. Silver lining, though, she ordered an ultrasound, so I'll get to see the little booger again!
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2 hours later, they finally come get me for my ultrasound. On the way down, the nurse tells me that all the tests look great! I do a little happy dance in my wheelchair thinking I should get to go home soon! I go down, u/s tech does what she needs to do (get confirmation, once again, that she is in fact a "she"!). All while thinking I'll get to go home after she's finished. (Found out Madison's weighing in at about 5 1/2 pounds right now. I guess that puts her on the smaller side of "normal" for this far along...I like small!) Anyway, she calls back up to L&D to tell them they can come get me, while I get back in the wheelchair to wait.
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New nurse comes down to get me, and takes me back to my room. She tells me she's not going to hook me up just yet until she talks to the other nurse that was monitoring me. First nurse comes back in, and gives me the wonderful news that there's still one more test result the doctor wants, so it's time to get hooked back up again. Oh goodie!! 45 minutes later, a new nurse comes in to tell me she's replacing Misty (apparently my first nurse; I'm sure she told me her name, I just didn't listen!), and that they have the test results she wanted so she's going to call my doctor and make sure that was all she wanted. 10 minutes later, she walks in, takes the monitors off, tells me to sign some paper basically saying I'll call them if I'm in labor (well, duh!), and tells me I can go. So finally at 7:50 pm, I walk out of the hospital. I arrived around 3...FIVE HOURS!!! I know I did the right thing by going in and getting monitored, but holy crap! Five hours!
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So to wrap up, I fell, went to L&D, they knew after an hour she was fine, but I stayed for another 4 just to make sure, Madison's still Madison, and mommy needs to be more careful while walking!

36 Week DA

I had my 36 week doctor appointment today. Along with that came the dreaded Group B Strep test, and the start of my cervical checks. Glad to report, neither was bad. A tad uncomfortable, but not painful! I got more good news when my doctor told me once you go over 40 weeks, they schedule an induction! Hallelujah!! Knowing a week is all she'll let me go over is so re-assuring! I also found out there CAN be three people in the room during delivery!! I'm so happy knowing that both my mom and his mom will be there to share in our joy as soon as little Madison is born! Madison is still head down (YAY!), and my cervix is strong, with little to no dialation yet. I am perfectly OK with that. I really don't want her to come early. I think I'm in the minority of most pregnant women in saying that, but I really love being pregnant, and honestly, I want to enjoy all 40 weeks of it! (Hopefully I'm feeling the same way in a couple weeks!) Here are the much anticipated 36 week pictures (I know you're all constantly checking to see if I've put them up yet...right? hehe)

Someday I'll catch up...

I have multiple things to post...just no time. I have to write about my baby shower this weekend (absolutely amazing!), Putt-Putt on Labor Day, 36 Week pic, and our 3 year anniversary (which is today!!) So for now, I'll just leave you with a wonderful picture of us on our wedding day:
I promise posts are coming soon...there's just a lot to do right now. Hopefully I'll have pictures of Maddie's room soon, too!

5 Weeks to go!

Today marks 35 weeks. A month from today is my last day of work until the beginning of the year...YIPEE!!!! I joined a "Due Date Club" on Babyzone.com as soon as I found out I was pregnant, and I believe about 15 of the ladies have already had their babies. I love reading their birth stories, and seeing the pictures of their little ones. It makes me SO excited for her to be here! One girl posted the link to newborn photo shoot they did this weekend, and it gave me so many ideas for pictures of little Madison! One of my favorites was of her feet, and they had put their wedding rings on her big toes. It was the sweetest thing I've seen, and I would have never thought of that. I think I'm going to have to steal that idea! I just hope I can make it look half as good with my non-professional self!!

I have my first (of two) baby showers this weekend. My aunt, cousins, and best friends are throwing it for me. I can't wait to see everybody!! I haven't seen most of them for at least 2 months!! I will post pictures next week when I get back. I'm also staying up at my mom's all weekend. It's kind of weird to think about the fact that this will be the last time I'm up there without Madison in tow!

As the Indy Star put it..."Well the Roof Works"

Pre-season football: it really means nothing (case in point, since 2005, the Colts have the NFL's worst pre-season record {3-14}, and the league's best regular season record {39-9} according to nfl.com) But I don't like to lose...even when I know it's almost 99% guaranteed it's going to happen. Colts lost their pre-season game last night...defense looked good (until it came to 3rd downs...seriously, boys, lets work on that!), the offense looked, well, ummm, let's just say "PEYTON, GET WELL NOW!" Good things from last night...our seats really are great! Being able to see the "skyline" of Indianapolis from the window is pretty cool...and Bob and Dwight played, and looked good. Also, I made it through about 3.5-4 hours of tailgating without having to use the bathroom...VERY proud of that one! Here are some pictures from the night.

Adam Vinatieri warming up before the game

Team out for pre-game stretches

Huge flag during the National Anthem

Bob being announced...definitely got the loudest cheer of the night!

34 Week Pic

34 weeks and 2 days today. I can't believe we're so close to meeting our little Madison. Most days I'm more excited than nervous, but I definitely have my days where I almost have a nervous breakdown! I feel like there's so much more to do...there's not really, but I just feel so unprepared for her to be here!! But on the other hand, I cannot wait to hold her and touch her face, and shower her with kisses!! I can't wait until all this moving she does doesn't make my pelvis feel like its going to break!! Her head is nestled in nicely, so every time she stretches it feels like the left side of my pelvis is going to shatter!! I do like that she's so active, since I don't ever have to worry about her, but wow, the pain at times!
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I had my 34 week doctor appointment yesterday. I'm up 12 pounds, and her heartbeat was 138 bpm. She must have been sleeping because that's the lowest it's ever been. I have finally "cycled through" all the doctors at the practice, so I finally get to go back to my doctor! YAY!! I'm so glad I get to see her for the next appointment since I will be getting my Group B Strep test, and having my cervix checked. I just feel the most comfortable with her, so happily these uncomfortable checks will be with someone I'm comfortable with! I realize I'll be 36 weeks at my next appointment, but it seems so surreal that it will be time to start checking to see if I'm dilating and effacement already!! Little Madison will be here before we know it!
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Sunday we get to go to the first game in Lucas Oil Stadium!! Too bad we won't get to see Peyton, but there is a good chance we could see Dwight (Freeney) and maybe even my man BOB!! (Sanders) I'm excited to see if we can make LOS as loud as the RCA Dome was! It's a big feat, but I think we can do it!! We're going to tailgate before, and I'm a little nervous about the bathroom situation!! The game doesn't start until 8pm, and I'm sure we'll get downtown no later than 2, and there's not exactly places close to where we park to go to the bathroom. It should be interesting!!

Only 26 more (business) days left of work!

I just figured out that I only have 26 more working days until I go on maternity leave!!! So exciting!!! I'll try and post a 34 week picture sometime tonight!

Week 33!

This post will be short and sweet...I must attempt to nap before the swimming starts at around 10, followed by mens gymnastics at 11. I'm loving the Olympics, but this going to bed at 1am is not working out so well for me!! So I leave you with the pics of the 33rd week!

I think she may have had a growth spurt...my skin feels like it is going to rip!

Oh dear! You can actually see my belly button starting to stick out!

It seems I have misplaced my feet! (and can you tell she likes the left side? looking a little uneven there!!)

Yep! She's definitely ours!

We had our second 3D ultrasound last night, and once again, she proved that she is DEFINITELY our daughter! :-) She had her hands up by her face the entire time, and would NOT move them! Luckily they weren't covering her face completely so we still got some cute pictures!

Hands by the face...

BIG smile!

We're going to have to teach her that we don't pick our noses! HEHE!

So sleepy!

She's just so cute!

With her eye open

Looks like she has a small dimple! (at the arrow)

I'm so happy we got to go back a second time, and see how much she's grown, but it just makes me want her here NOW that much worse!!! Right now I think she looks more like Daddy, but that could just be those cheeks throwing me off! :-) I'm still in awe of how cool this 3D ultrasound thing is! It makes me really wonder what new and different thing they'll have when we have our next one...and when we become grandparents (as Tony said "At least 40 years from now!" hehe!)

Sorry this post was so picture heavy, but I can't help myself!! What will I be like after she's born?! :-)

The Belly

Soon it will be an "outie"...I'm so overjoyed :-(

32 Weeks today!

Today we start the 8 week countdown!! It's going so fast, and it's just going to go faster once she's born!! I am so excited to start this new chapter in our lives...I'm already thinking of what fun traditions we can start for the holidays!! I think for the fall/Halloween, we definitly have to make a trip to the pumpkin patch. There's one not too far from the house, and it looks like so much fun! Weather will decide if we start that one this year, or wait for next year. I really want to start a tradition of making Christmas cookies with her. I'm not sure if that will happen, but I think it would be so fun to look forward to decorating them each year! Tony thinks I'm crazy, but oh well!

We're going for our second 3D ultrasound tonight. Hopefully she's head down and showing her beautiful face! I keep reading that "you should be able to identify different body parts as they're moving around..." yeah, I have no idea what's where, but I DO know it hurts most of the time when she moves. Should make the next 2 months interesting!! I'm hoping to see what's in my pelvis bone tonight because for the past 3 or 4 nights, it's felt like she's in there just pushing as hard as she can on it! Well look for a belly pic and pics of Madison either tonight or tomorrow!!

31 weeks

Well I guess technically the picture is 31 weeks and 1 day, but seriously...not much to report this week. And I look horrible in these pictures...I had a rough evening and had a complete hormonal break-down (for another post) before taking these pictures, so my eyes are all red and puffy from crying...but love me and my red face still!

She's been quite active the last week...we are really going to have a squirmy baby!! We go next Tuesday for the second 3d u/s. I hope she's this active for it!!