Date Night!

Last Thursday, Tony and I went on our first date since Madison was born. She got to stay the night with Nanny (Tony's mom), while Mommy and Daddy went to eat at Bravo. It was wonderful to enjoy a nice meal, good wine, and wonderful conversation without worrying if she was going to make it through the meal without crying. But I stilled missed her more than anything, and wished she would have been with us!! I know it's good for us to do things just the two of us, but I miss her so much the entire time! She did wonderfully at Nanny's and I'm sure she never realized we weren't there! Everyone was telling me how great I would sleep that first night without her, but oh how opposite it was!! She's been sleeping through the night since she was about 5 1/2 weeks old, so I've been getting good sleep for a while, but Thursday night, I did not sleep well. I wasn't really worried about her, I knew she was in good hands, but just knowing she wasn't in her crib made me sad! (yes she's in her own room, in her crib already...don't get me started on how happy and sad that makes me at the same time!)

We've started putting Madison to bed at around 9/9:30 every night, and she's consistently sleeping until about 8 or even later some mornings. Some mornings we have to go in and give her her pacifier at around 5 or 6, but some mornings she doesn't make a sound until 8. We are so lucky to have such a good sleeper!! The only thing: she has to be swaddled. If I try to put her to bed without swaddling her, she flails her arms up, wakes herself up, and then just stares and plays with her hands! I'm fine with swaddling her now, I just don't want to be swaddling a 1 year old!! Hopefully we'll be able to wean her off of it easily.

Madison had her 2 month check-up on Saturday, and she's doing well! She weighs 10 lbs 0.5 oz (25th percentile), is 22 1/2 inches long (50th percentile), and her head measured 15 1/2 inches (50th percentile). I had already gotten her shots at the Health Department, so we had a happy appointment with no tears!

She's growing up too fast!

Tonight during tummy time, my precious baby rolled herself onto her back!!! I was so happy and proud, but sad at the same time! She's growing up way too fast! I can't believe how fast these past two months have gone, and I know the time is just going to start going faster and faster!!

2 months old!

Dear Madison,

I can't believe that you've already been here in our lives for two months! This has been the best two months of my life! Being your mommy is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It is harder than I ever imagined, but it is so much more rewarding that I could have imagined. You have already changed so much from that early Sunday morning that I first saw your face. You look like a baby now, and not a newborn. I wasn't prepared for how fast the newborn look would fade! Every morning when I reach into your bassinet, I swear you are 100 times more beautiful than the night before when I carefully placed you in there. You light my day up when you see me in the morning and stop crying because you realize I'm there to pick you up feed you!

You already have such an amazing personality, and I get excited every day to see what you're going to start doing. You are such a happy baby. Your smile lights up my soul. I love changing your diaper and seeing you look up at me with your big gummy grin. And you are already such a talker!!! I think Daddy and I are in for it when you really start talking. You can lay on your changing table for 20 minutes and just smile and talk to us. You get so excited when we talk back to you, and just talk more. I never knew how exciting a conversation with a two month old could be. I've tried to record you talking on my cell phone, but every time I put the cell phone up, you just stare at it with wonder, and completely clam up. Hopefully soon I can record you and send it to Grandma!

We celebrated your first big holiday this past month, and you did great! You let everybody hold you, and then fell asleep in your swing. Last Thanksgiving, the thought of having a baby was just that! It was so surreal to have you here! I know next year will be even more fun. You'll actually get to eat some of the Thanksgiving feast...a moment that I can't WAIT to capture!

This month, we will celebrate your first Christmas. Last Christmas morning was when I opened my gift from Daddy and saw the Colts onesie, pacifier, and other baby stuff. That was the day the idea of me becoming a mommy was no longer just my dream...it was going to happen! This Christmas morning, I will get to open gifts with you in my arms. How amazing how much has changed in just a year! I took you to see Santa, and you were great. I hope next year I'm as lucky!

Madison, I love you so much, and every day I love you more!! My heart aches for you when you're not with me, and when I finally see you again, it almost bursts with the love and excitement I feel! I fall in love with you again every single morning. Thank you for making me happier than I could have ever imagined!

Love,

Mommy

Santa Time!

I took Madison to see Santa this morning. Even though she was stubborn and wouldn't smile, I'm just glad she didn't cry! When I first put her on his lap, she gave him the weirdest look! I wish I could have caught it on camera, but no luck! Hopefully she'll be this content next year...I can always hope!

Madison's First Thanksgiving

So happy!

Not so thrilled with all the pictures!
It was a long day for her!

We have had Thanksgiving at our house since we got married, and I love it. It's so nice to not have to go anywhere! I order the turkey and some sides from Boston Market, stick the turkey in the oven for a couple hours, put the sides in the microwave, and we're done! Madison was really good all day! I was a little worried with so many people over that she would get a little over stimulated, but she was a trooper! This year was harder than I thought it was going to be. It was the first Thanksgiving without Grandpa, and that was rough for me. I guess that's why God gave me Madison this year, so I would have someone to be so thankful for, it would help to take my mind off of Grandpa not being here. I just really wish he could have held her...

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year, and didn't stuff themselves too full! Madison's 2 month post is coming...I just can't believe next Friday she will be 2 months already! It's amazing how some days can seem to creep by, but the weeks FLY by!

Gorgeous

I love this little girl so much! What in the world did I do before her?! I promise a real post is coming soon, but I had to show off the cuteness that is my daughter!

She's quite advanced :-)

Sitting in her bumbo chair at 6 weeks...not that I'm trying to brag on her or anything! :-)

THANK YOU...

Thank you so much for the encouraging comments and emails about my last post! I can't even begin to express how much better I felt after reading that other people went/are going through the same thing! It's amazing what "friends" I have made through this blog! Thank you again!

So sleepy!

Just thought this was too cute not to share!

Can I be honest...

I know in my last post I said I didn't mind that Madison always wanted me...but I have to ask if it's ok to be brutally honest here. I guess since it's my blog, I can, but no judging allowed! It is wearing me down always having to be around her! I feel like I can't do anything, whether its in the house, or out of the house, because she'll just cry with Tony. I love being home with her, and would do just about anything to not have to go back to work at the beginning of the year, but the pressure of being so "needed" is starting to really break me down. I'm exhausted from getting up to feed her at night (as much as I love staring into her eyes as she nurses), and then having to be right there all day, even when Tony has the day off! I know motherhood is a 24/7/365 job, but I feel like I can't even clean, do laundry, or even eat unless she's sleeping! And let me tell you, she isn't a big napper during the day. She takes more cat naps than anything, so that doesn't really allow me to get much done.

I wish I knew how to get her "used" to Daddy holding her. Most of the time he holds her, she screams. Not cries, but blood curdling screams. It breaks my heart, but obviously not nearly as much as it breaks his! After a couple minutes, he just hands her to me because he can't take it anymore, and usually (not always) she quits within five minutes. I know she's going to be more attached to me since I'm home with her all day, and the fact that I nurse her, but it just seems a little extreme. He tries to help out some mornings by taking her and trying to give her the bottle. She'll drink an ounce or so, and then just scream. I don't understand why she won't take the bottle from him. She takes it for Grandma, Nanny, and even me! I would think that if she wasn't going to take it from someone, it would be me! I just don't know what to do, but I honestly feel like a single parent at times. Not because I don't have a husband who's willing to help out because I know he wants to SO BAD! but because she won't let him help! I'm so overwhelmed, and its starting to affect our marriage. I'm just so tired all the time, both physically and emotionally, that by the time he gets home, I've already started to shut down.

He told me the other morning that he missed the old me...that cut really deep. I didn't realize I was this bad. I wish he knew how much I miss the old me...not the "not-mom me", but the happy me. I just feel like I'm on the verge of tears all the time. Any little thing can send me into tears; I'm so worn out! I know it will get better. She's only a little over a month old...But how much longer can he deal with me like this? Is it normal to wonder if we really made the right decision at the right time? That makes me sound like a horrible mom, but that's not how I mean it. I love this little girl so much, I ache when I think about it. It hurts how much I love her! But I sometimes question God and his timing...was I REALLY ready to be a mom?? I mean, I guess since we got pregnant so fast, and all the circumstances that were going on at the time that I got pregnant, it's pretty obvious that we were ready at this exact time. But that makes me ask God, why is it so hard?! What lesson are you trying to teach me? Please just send a sign...and when I say sign, I'm thinking something like a billboard!

This post just made me feel like a horrible mother...please realize that I wouldn't trade where I am for anything, I just needed to get some of these feelings out! I know this was kind of a jumbled mess, but I just let whatever I was thinking be written. I have to go get the little miss...she's done with the swing and Daddy's playing basketball (please don't even let me get started on how I feel about this!)

Happy One Month, Madison!

I really can't believe Madison has been here for a month already! It seems like we just found out she was a girl, and now we've had her in our arms for a month! She has changed so much in this short time, it's unbelievable! The funniest thing to me is the loss of hair! She still has most of it in the back, but in the front, and on top...it's quite thin! I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond the other night, and told my mom that she was going to look like Frank pretty soon!

This month has been easier than I thought it was going to be! It's true that your "mother's instinct" just starts as soon as that baby is placed in your arms for the first time. There are definitely times when I wish she could just tell me why she's screaming because I know all of her needs are met, but for the most part, I usually feel like I know what she needs. She is definitely a Mommy's girl right now. She loves Daddy, Grandma, and Nanny, but she seems to feel best and safest with me. (and of course I'm not complaining!) As much fun as this month has been, I kinda have to admit that I'm ready for her to be 3-4 months...when I feel like we can "play" more. I know everyone tells you to cherish every moment that they're this little, and I do, but I think I'm more of a "baby mom" than a "newborn mom".

She has been cooing and smiling a lot more lately, though. The other night Tony and I just stood over her on her changing table, and she talked and talked to us...it was the sweetest thing! Some people think she's starting to look more like Tony, but every day I see more of me in her than the day before! She definitely has Daddy's cheeks, but she looks almost identical to my baby pictures. As long as she gets Daddy's gorgeous blue eyes, I'm happy! And they seem to get more blue everyday, so cross your fingers!

Sorry this post is all over the place, but I'm just trying to get it written before she wakes up again!

Madison in her swing at 2 days old

Madison in her swing at one month...what a difference!

Some pictures to tie you over...

She was actually happy in her swing...for once!

I'm sure she wasn't really reaching for the toy, but it sure looked like it to me!

All bundled up and looking cute! :-)

Will update someday...

No I haven't fallen off the earth (although there are days I feel like I have!). I just have a baby that really likes to be held, and doesn't allow me to get much done during the day! Hopefully I will update soon with more pictures, and with life in general, but we'll see what she'll allow! I miss all my blogger friends...I feel so out of it! I will be back to posting and commenting soon, I hope, though! Until then, pray for my sanity!

Too beautiful!

This is the picture we had taken at the hospital, and it was just too cute not to share!! It's also the picture on her announcements, which should be here sometime next week. I will try to get a picture of them on here...they're adorable! :-)

First Bath!

We gave Maddie her first bath Saturday night. She actually did pretty well. There weren't too many tears!!

I know I haven't been posting much, but as I'm sure you already Mommy's know...there's so much to do!!! And my mom has been here all week, so even when Maddie's sleeping, I've been spending time with her. Monday will be my first day alone with Madison, and I'm a little nervous, but I know I'll do OK. Hopefully that will open up more time for blogging during her naps, and especially catching up on blogs!! I started to read a couple today, and realized I just didn't have the time to get caught up today!! I feel like I've missed out so much on every one's lives...pathetic, I know!

Madison has been sleeping really well at night! Wednesday night she was only up once, and every other night it's only been twice. But usually the second time is between 5:30 and 6:30, so I guess you could really say she's only up once! We have found that giving her the bottle at night keeps her up, though. I've been breastfeeding and pumping so daddy could help with some of the feedings at night, but both nights we've given her the bottle she's then been up for an hour or so after; so I think, at least for now, we're going to nix the bottle at night. Maybe give it to her in the evening when we want her to stay awake!

I'm being summoned to eat, so hopefully next week I can start being better about updates, and pictures!!

Madison's Birth Story

Friday, October 3, we went into the hospital at 7:30pm to start the Cervadil for the induction the next day. My mom, brother, and Tony's mom all came to see us that night, and everyone was gone by 11pm. I wasn't in any pain yet, but was just so excited I couldn't sleep. I finally fell asleep around 1am. At 2:30am I woke up with moderate contractions. I was already having to pee every 10 minutes it seemed, and with the contractions, it was making it very hard to sleep. I finally decided to give in and ask the nurse for some pain medication so I could get some sleep since I knew Saturday was going to be a long day (if only I had known how long!). Just as I was getting ready to call her, she came in to tell me I needed to roll over because the baby had been sleeping for a while, and they just wanted to make sure she was ok...which also meant I couldn't have any medicine for at least 20 minutes while they monitored her to make sure she was ok. 25 minutes later, the nurse was back with the medicine! YEA!! She told me it would take about 2-3 minutes to take effect, and I would start to feel like I'd had a couple drinks. 2-3 minutes, yeah right! About 30 seconds after she put the IV in, I was light headed, and ready to sleep! I slept so soundly for the next 2 hours, it was heaven!

I was kind of in and out of sleep until about 8:30 am when I decided to get up and brush my teeth. The nurse came to remove the cervadil, and told me to take my shower, and then we would start the pitocin. Well finally at around 10:30 am, my doctor came in to break my water and start the pitocin. When she broke my water, she saw that Madison had had a bowel movement, and there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. She let me know that NICU would have to be present for the birth, and would take her right away to get her all suctioned out. I was a little disappointed because I figured then I wouldn't get her on my belly right away, but figured I could deal! So at 10:45 am, the induction "officially started!" By noon, I was dying from the contractions! I'm sure they weren't really THAT bad, but I. DO. NOT. DO. PAIN! so I asked when I was allowed to have my epidural. The nurse told me my doctor likes for you to get to a 4 before getting one, so at least I had something to aim for! Around 1:30 pm they checked me and I was a 3, so I started getting myself excited for the epidural...I didn't have to wait long! At 2, my nurse came in and asked "Do you want your epidural?" Uh, yeah!!! She said the anesthesiologist was getting ready to go into a c-section, so they wanted to make sure I got it before he went in...THANK YOU JESUS!! I was a little nervous for the the actual insertion because I had heard that it hurt pretty bad. I was happy to feel that it wasn't bad at all!! Within a half hour, I couldn't feel a thing, and I was back in good spirits!

They kept coming in to check me every 2 hours or so, and I was making pretty good progress. But then 9 pm came...I was still the 6 I was at 7 pm. And at 11 pm, I was still a 6. The nurse had my doctor come in to check me, just to make sure, and she reluctantly told me that I was only a 7, and that I had stalled. I had been at the same measurement for four hours, and that it wasn't looking good for a vaginal delivery. She told me that she could let me go one more hour, turn the pitocin up, and check me again, or we could just go ahead with the c-section. She said she'd give us a couple minutes to talk it over, and then she'd be back to see what we'd decided. I held it together pretty well until she was out of the room, but then I lost it. A c-section was something I really didn't want. I just really wanted to deliver her, and have her on my belly and see her right away. Everything I've been dreaming about since I got pregnant. Tony was my rock through it all, and let me know that it was fine either way. If I wanted to have the c-section, at least she would be here soon, and I wouldn't have to wait anymore. But if I wanted to wait, he was fine with that too. I couldn't make a decision to save my life, so he just decided we were going to wait. His feeling was, "What's one more hour?" How happy I am that he made me wait that extra hour! The nurse came back after an hour, and said I was a 6-7, which wasn't a lot of progress, but it was more progress than I had made the last 4 hours!! She went to call the doctor, and I told her whatever the doctor said, that's what I wanted to do...no matter what. When she came back in, she said we were going to continue the Pitocin, and see if we could get this baby the way I wanted! I continued to progress, and at around 6:00 Sunday morning, I was finally a 10. I finally started pushing at 6:30 am. At 7, my nurse from the day before was back on, so she came in to help with the delivery. My next contraction, the doctor told me we were going to have a baby! No such luck...but she knew with the next one she would be here. She let me know that once the head was out, I needed to push even harder so they could get her shoulders out. So when the next contraction came, I pushed as hard as I could, and when I felt the head come out, I started pushing harder; only my doctor was saying "Slow down! Slow down!" I wasn't sure if she meant stop pushing completely, or just don't push as hard. It didn't matter because about 2 seconds later, she said "Never mind!" And I heard my mom say "Oh, Madison!" So I knew she was here. Apparently it was a good thing my doctor was ready, because Madison just kinda came "shooting" out! At 7:16am, Sunday October 5, 2008, my beautiful daughter was placed on my tummy, and I have never seen such a beautiful baby in my life! After I got to hold her for about a minute, the NICU whisked her away to suction out her mouth, nose, and lungs. I could handle the sound of them suctioning her mouth and nose, but the sound of the tube being down her throat while her lungs were being suctioned was almost more than I could handle. Luckily my doctor recognized this, and tried to keep my attention and just talked to me.

I finally got to hold her again about 15 minutes after she was born. It's such an amazing feeling holding your child. It sounds cliche, but it's so true that you never understand a mother's love until you are one. Tony described the love perfectly when he said it's a "pure love." I can't believe the amount of love I felt for her as soon as she was born, and it just continues to grow every time I lay eyes on her!

Introducing Madison Nicole!

Madison Nicole was born Sunday, October 5 at 7:16am weighing 6lbs, 6oz, and was 20 inches long. It was a long 36 hours for Mommy, but it was all worth it! I will post the birth story later, but wanted to get some pictures up here!! Enjoy!

The fun has begun!!

We have arrived at the hospital, and I'm all hooked up to the monitors. The cervadil has not been place yet, and I'm not sure when that is happening, but I'm pretty sure that they said they would leave it in for 12 hours, then remove it, check me, and start the pitocin. I'm feeling a little calmer now that we're actually here. I was kind of freaking out early this evening. It's just so weird that we left the house as a couple, and we'll be coming home as a family of three! I will try to post pictures as soon as I can, but the internet here is pretty slow, so I'm not sure how much Blogger will cooperate!! Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement throughout this whole pregnancy, and I can't wait to show off my daughter to you all! :-)

Guess who's back...but not so better than ever

I got a nice surprise when Tony called me Monday afternoon to tell me he was on his way to Best Buy to pick up our computer!! I only had to go 2 days basically...and surprisingly, I survived! :-)

Monday began my maternity leave, and I got a lot accomplished! I had to go to Target to return something, and exchange a couple other things. Then I headed over to Kohl's to see if I could find some pants for my daughter. Do you know how hard it is to find pants smaller than 6 months?! There are some for 3-6 months, but almost nothing for 0-3 months. You can find packages and racks full of onesies, but some pants to go with them? Nah, just let your child hang out in a onesie. Which I'm fine with (I guess) at home, but I don't want to be stuck at home all the time because I have no pants for my child! If any of you already mommies out there have any suggestions on where to find 0-3 month pants...PLEASE SHARE!!

Tony called me while I was at Kohl's to see if I wanted to meet him for lunch, so I headed over to the mall after I was finished there, and had lunch at TGIFridays with him. (We only had to spend $2! Yea for gift cards!) I then had to return something at Children's Place, and picked up a cardigan and some corduroy pants (0-3 months...can you believe it! but it was the only style I could find in 0-3) for the girl who needs more clothes like she needs a sixth toe! Then headed to Babies R Us to find a picture for her room : I headed home then for some much needed rest, and just chilled out the rest of the evening until the Monday Night Football game (which was great!).

Yesterday, I ordered all of my belly pics to put in "The Belly Book" and some for her scrapbooks and baby book. (which I'm doing today), then to the bank, and then to Wal-Mart. I ended up spending way more than I intended to at Wal-Mart, but once I got there I realized that I needed food for lunches...and Tony's off starting tomorrow until next Thursday, so we definitely needed more food than we usually have! I don't think I've ever seen our fridge, freezer, pantry, and cabinet look so full (and they still really aren't that full...) I guess it's something I will have to get used to!

Ok, I know the title of this post is "...but not so better..." and all I've talked about has been fairly good stuff. Well last night was not so great. I turned off my bedside lamp at about 11pm, and woke up at midnight with some mild cramping and having to pee...so I went pee, and went to lay back down. I woke up at 1am, 2am, 3am, and so on until I finally got out of bed at 8. I never really had any regular contractions during that time, but still felt crampy when I got out of bed. i had wanted to organize Madison's closet today, but I decided maybe I should just take it easy today. So I had some breakfast, drank some water, and just laid back down on the couch. I started to feel a little better, so I took a shower, and am drinking as much water as I can. I feel better now. I was so sure I would make it to the induction, and I realize its still a good possibility I will, but I'm not quite as confident as I was! I don't go to the doctor until tomorrow at 2, so I'm hoping everything stays under control until then. If I didn't start feeling better today, I was going to call. I didn't really want to because I figured they'd just send me back to Labor and Delivery, and I really didn't want to have to go back there again unless they were going to let me have this baby! :-) I think I was just dehydrated. Its really hard for me to remember to drink water while I'm at home. When I'm at work, my water bottle is never empty, but for some reason, it's not as easy when I'm at home. I was trying to think back to how much I had drank yesterday...and I don't think it was more than 3 glasses! At work, I had 3 bottles of water by 10 most days! So just trying to keep myself more hydrated today. I will leave you with the 40 week belly pic...which could possibly be the last one!

Why now?

I just found out I'm without a computer for 7-10 days...don't the people at Best Buy know that I'm going to have a baby in that time, and my wonderful blogging friends must have pictures ASAP?! Don't they know I'm off work all week next week, and now I have no computer on which to read my blogs? And can someone please explain to my wonderful husband why this is such a big deal? I know in the huge scheme of the world, it's not...but in my little piece of the world, it's HUGE! I just wish I could make him understand that without him telling me that it wasn't the end of the world. Yes, I'm fully aware that there are much worse things that could have happened, but I just wish he understood that it IS a big deal to me, and little sympathy (fake or not) would be appreciated!

39 Weeks and a Date!

The nurse called me today to let me know I was on the schedule for an induction on Saturday, October 4. The plan is to go in Friday night to start the Cervadil (to soften my cervix), stay overnight, and begin the induction on Saturday morning. We're supposed to go in at 7:30 Friday evening, but we have to call an hour before to make sure there's a room available. I really hope this works out because it works so well with every one's schedule! My mom wouldn't have to miss any work for the delivery, and Tony and I would have the first week home by ourselves before my mom came down the following week to help out. Of course, she is our child, so who knows what she has planned! :-) I leave you with the 39 week belly!

Merry Christmas to me...just a little early :-)

I got a call from my husband on Saturday afternoon telling me that he had bought my Christmas present...and that he was giving it to me when he got home. I asked him why I was getting my Christmas present in September, but he told me that I would understand when I saw what it was. He came in the house carrying this bag...

Which I found this box inside...

And when I opened the box, I found this...

My wonderful husband, who spoils me WAY to much, bought me the new Coach diaper/tote bag. He knew I wasn't happy with the one from Pottery Barn, and this is how he solved it. A little over the top, yes, but I guess that's why I love him. The man would do anything to make me happy...whether its buy me something like this, or just be where I need him, when I need him. I couldn't have asked for a man to take better care of me than he does! I love him so much, and can't wait for Madison to be here to see him as "Daddy" as well as "Babe."

Speaking of Madison, I had my 39 week appointment this morning. My blood pressure is great, weight is great (15-16 pounds gained so far), and she was quite the show-off. Every time my doctor would start to put the Doppler on to get her heartbeat, she would do one of her stretches, and "kick" it off. I was measuring small, so my doctor had me get another ultrasound to make sure that she was growing OK. U/S tech said she's healthy, just little. She measured her at about 6 pounds, 2 ounces, which is apparently in the 19th percentile. So we have a little one on our hands, but I figure as long as she's healthy, I don't mind!

My doctor let me know that if I was still pregnant next week, then I would be put on the schedule for an induction that weekend (October 3-5). So it looks like it will be a little less than 2 weeks (at the most) before the little squirt is here! It's so surreal to have a "date" set. I'm so excited, but even more anxious now. I started to pack my bag tonight...but there's so much stuff that I will need up until the time we go to the hospital, I don't feel like I did much. I just have some sweats, t-shirts, hoodie, undergarments, slippers, and flip-flops in there now...what else do I need?? I can at least pack the video camera, but I can't pack my still camera until that day...

I'll post 39 week photos tomorrow...

Who will blog?

I was thinking the other day that I would probably have my friend Kim blog Madison's arrival. We don't have a laptop, so I'll probably just have her log on and let everyone know. I'm not sure if there will be pictures right away because she lives in Cleveland, and depending on when she's born, we may be home from the hospital before she can get to Indy. But hopefully she will at least be able to get on and blog her arrival!

Some pictures from the shower last week...

I know this picture is horrible of Tony, but I love this sweater! :-)

He really liked that dress

Her bassinet filled with goodies from Aunt Tammy, Uncle David, and Sarah.

The wonderful ladies at Tony's church threw us a shower last Saturday. We were blessed with even more pink and frilly outfits, and blankets! OMW, the blankets!! This child will never be cold! We now have all the big things we need. I'm headed to Babies R Us in a little bit to get the little stuff we still need, but we have been so blessed by people's generosity, we won't have to spend too much of our own money! Thank you God for wonderful friends and family!!

An update on the ice cream...

They are both AMAZING! If you've had the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard from DQ, and enjoyed it...you will definitely enjoy the pumpkin ice cream. The only thing I wish it had was pieces of pumpkin pie, but it's still amazing! The apple pie one is like eating apple pie a la mode! There's pieces of apple and pie crust in the ice cream...just divine!

Dear Madison...

My dear sweet Madison,

As I sit here tonight feeling you stretching inside my belly, I marvel at how amazing God is. You started out so microscopic, and now are close to 6 pounds! I first discovered you were growing inside me as two pink lines and the word "pregnant" appeared on the pregnancy tests. I was in shock! I was scared to death! But most of all, I was excited beyond belief! I didn't know at the time if you were "Madison" or "Baby Boy" (since Daddy and I hadn't agreed on a boys name), but I already loved you. Today, I love you so much more than I could have ever imagined, and I know my love for you is going to grow ten-fold the moment I see your face for the first time! I'm almost afraid my heart will burst, knowing how much love I feel for you now; I can't fully understand how I can love you even more!

That first time I felt you move will forever be etched in my memory. It was just a small flutter so I wasn't sure if it was you, or my mind playing tricks on me. But a couple minutes later, I felt you again...and then again, and I knew that was my baby moving! Ever since that day, you have been a mover! Your movements are usually not subtle either! You like me to know you're there! And even though you have hurt me a couple times, I am so happy that I get to feel every movement you make. Selfishly, I am really going to miss knowing your every movement after you are born. For the past 20 weeks, or so, I have known every movement you have made, felt every hiccup you've had, and it makes me a little sad to know that in a couple weeks, I won't know every time you move.

The day we found out you were "Madison" I was beyond ecstatic! I really was OK either way, but I know deep down, I really wanted a little princess, and I was so happy to know that I was getting my wish! I went out and bought you some clothes the very next day! I had been dieing to buy you clothes before, so I didn't waste anytime after Mommy and Daddy found out. Neither did Grandma! You'll soon learn that Grandma, Mommy, and Daddy love to buy clothes...your closet is so full, I'm kind of worried you won't be able to wear everything! But I can't wait to try!

I want to tell you a little bit about your Daddy, Maddie. He is the most amazing man in the world. You are so lucky to have him as your Daddy, and I don't want you to ever forget that! He will love you more than you will ever know! You are already his little princess, and I know that he can't wait to spoil you even more like one! Your Daddy is the most caring and loving man you will meet. He takes such good care of me, so I know what good care he'll take of you. I will warn you that sometimes you will think he's being a little (or WAY TOO) overprotective, but I assure you, it's only because he loves you so much, and doesn't want anything to happen to you. Please try to take it as a compliment, and be thankful that you have a Daddy who cares so much about you. I promise to try and keep him reasonable, but I can't make any promises! I pray that when you meet your Prince Charming, he is just like your Daddy. I want someone who loves you like your Daddy loves me; who takes care of you like your Daddy takes care of me; and of course who can tease you in the loving way that only your Daddy can to me! God gave you the best Daddy there is, and please don't ever forget that!

Madison, I love being your sole provider, and being the only one aware of some of your movements, but I know that is going to change very soon. I am ready to share you with the rest of world, but I am going to cherish, deeply, these last few weeks with you. I love you more than you'll ever know!

Love,

Mommy

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

I went to Wal-Mart for bread and milk...I got bread and milk, and some other things :-) I knew I was almost out of Cookies & Cream ice cream (not something we want to happen!), so I went to the freezer aisle...and these two tubs of ice cream jumped into my cart. I didn't want to hurt their feelings, so I let them come home with me! I can't wait to enjoy them!!! Don't judge, I'm 9 months pregnant, and Edy's slow churn is the one thing I've allowed myself to indulge in this pregnancy...nothing like having options! :-)

37 Weeks...

I only have 2 1/2 weeks of work left...seems unreal! The temp that is coming in while I'm on maternity leave starts Monday (if we've found the right person by then). It just all seems to be happening too fast! I'm not ready. Her room looks like a tornado went through...I'm just so tired when I get home, the last thing I want to do is hang things up, organize things, or just be on my feet in general. I really just want to curl up on the couch and watch my shows on DVR...it's much more relaxing!! I have a shower at work tomorrow, and one at Tony's church on Saturday. My mom and Andrew will be down Friday night, so at least I'll have her here to help me put that stuff away Saturday afternoon and Sunday. But I need to at least put away the stuff from the last shower before they get here...that gives me two days. I guess I need to step it up!
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One thing I can be thankful for is how great I feel. I never imagined I would still feel this good at 37 weeks! I can only hope the next 3-4 weeks are this comfortable! I haven't had any Braxton Hicks contractions, haven't had any trouble falling (or staying) asleep, am only getting up once (on the rare night twice) a night to pee. This has been way easier than I could have imagined! I hope labor and delivery go this smoothly!

Updates finally

I've added three updates finally! One for my baby shower, one for Labor Day, and one for my eventful Friday!

What a day!

I'm walking to lunch today, taking in the sights and sounds of the Colts Pep Rally that's taking place on the circle. I'm trying to decide what I want for lunch, and decide the ham and pineapple sandwich from the Great Steak and Potato Company at the mall sounds good. I walk the rest of the way around the circle. I decide to cross Meridian street before I get to the corner since they have it blocked off, and I won't have to wait. I'm making my way across when I feel the toe of my shoe catch on something. A brick, a wire from the band, not sure, but what I do know is I'm tripping and going forward quick. I feel like I've caught myself, when I realize, "I'm going to fall in front of all these people!"
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And that's exactly what happens. I catch myself with my hands for the most part, but I do hit the bump on the ground a little bit. I think I scrape it more than hit it, but of course I still start to kind of freak out. I remind myself that I need to stay calm for Madison's sake, and keep walking, red-faced, to the mall. As soon as I get there, I head to the bathroom to assess the damage to the skin of my belly. Just a little red, so I decide to go get something to eat. I know I need to call the doctor, but I also know they will ask if I'm feeling movement, and honestly she's never very active right before lunch anyway. I know the only way to know for sure if there is a decrease in fetal movement is to eat, and wait. So I get my food, eat, and wait. I decide to start reading my book while waiting; about 10 minutes go by, and my book starts to jump. I've never been so happy to feel kicks! I decide to finish my lunch and call the doctor once I get back to work.
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I call the doctor and talk the nurse, knowing very well that she's going to tell me to go to Labor & Delivery to get monitored. So off I head to the hospital. I get there a little before 3, have to fill out some paper work, then get told to go have a seat. The nurse calls me back, and warns me that my doctor could order the 4 hour ops, so I could be there until 7, but since I am still feeling her move, haven't had any bleeding or contracting, I should be out of there in an hour or so. She hooks up the monitors, and tells me she'll be back in about an hour to check on me. I read a little, watch some pointless TV, and wait for her to come back. She comes back, lets me know "baby is looking good!" and I'm not contracting at all, but that my doctor wants the 4 hour ops. I have some feelings of being blessed that my doctor cares that much, but more annoyance that I have to be there for another 3 hours. Silver lining, though, she ordered an ultrasound, so I'll get to see the little booger again!
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2 hours later, they finally come get me for my ultrasound. On the way down, the nurse tells me that all the tests look great! I do a little happy dance in my wheelchair thinking I should get to go home soon! I go down, u/s tech does what she needs to do (get confirmation, once again, that she is in fact a "she"!). All while thinking I'll get to go home after she's finished. (Found out Madison's weighing in at about 5 1/2 pounds right now. I guess that puts her on the smaller side of "normal" for this far along...I like small!) Anyway, she calls back up to L&D to tell them they can come get me, while I get back in the wheelchair to wait.
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New nurse comes down to get me, and takes me back to my room. She tells me she's not going to hook me up just yet until she talks to the other nurse that was monitoring me. First nurse comes back in, and gives me the wonderful news that there's still one more test result the doctor wants, so it's time to get hooked back up again. Oh goodie!! 45 minutes later, a new nurse comes in to tell me she's replacing Misty (apparently my first nurse; I'm sure she told me her name, I just didn't listen!), and that they have the test results she wanted so she's going to call my doctor and make sure that was all she wanted. 10 minutes later, she walks in, takes the monitors off, tells me to sign some paper basically saying I'll call them if I'm in labor (well, duh!), and tells me I can go. So finally at 7:50 pm, I walk out of the hospital. I arrived around 3...FIVE HOURS!!! I know I did the right thing by going in and getting monitored, but holy crap! Five hours!
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So to wrap up, I fell, went to L&D, they knew after an hour she was fine, but I stayed for another 4 just to make sure, Madison's still Madison, and mommy needs to be more careful while walking!

Labor Day Fun

Tony had to work all day on Labor Day, so I stayed up at my mom's for an extra night. We decided to take advantage of the nice weather, and go play some Putt-Putt. I was not too thrilled to be going, as I'm not very good. But the first game, I WON!!! But I was back to form on the second game when I came in last...a very distant last! I still had a lot of fun, though! Here are some pics from the day.

Mom getting ready to sink on in!

Andrew "teeing" off!

My hole-in-one!

Proof that I rock! (well at least on the first game I did...I think I finished with a 51 on the second game! OOPS!)

Andrew getting eaten by the alligator...or maye its a crocodile...who knows!

Baby Shower

Last Saturday, my Aunt Debb, cousins Stefanie and Stacie, and my two best friends Erica and Kim threw me a baby shower. The food was wonderful, the cake was tasty, and the presents were plentiful! I can't thank God enough for the wonderful family and friends I have been blessed with!! Just wanted to share some of the pictures!

The food, along with the Feeding and Bathing "stations" from Kim and Erica

Cake and cupcakes made by my Aunt Kathy

YAY PRESENTS!! :-)

My mom, ME, Tony's mom

Me with my cousin Stefanie

Me with my cousin Stacie

Erica and me...two hot mommas!

Kim and me...college roomies and best friends!

We got so much stuff for Madison! I'm still trying to figure out where it's all going to go! I still have two more showers (one at work, and one at Tony's church). It's wonderful being this blessed, but it's kinda stressful! (Which I mean in the best way possible!!) I told Tony last night that we better hope when we decide to have a second child that it's a girl! That way we won't have to buy much!!