I Will Carry You...

Tonight has been a little emotional for me. I had a freak-out about the fact that we weren't told 100% what little "Feety" is. I like to think about the "what ifs" anyways, but being pregnant, and highly hormonal and emotional, it makes those "what ifs" about 1000x larger. I got onto Babyzone.com to just get my mind off the whole thing, and found a link to a this blog http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ This is the blog of Todd and Amy Smith. Todd is the lead singer in Selah (a Christian group). They found out at their 20 week appointment that precious Audrey Caroline would not survive outside the womb. As I was reading through, I stopped when I got to a video, and clicked the video link. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2CnUtVY35o) I don't know if it was because I was already having an emotional night, but I watched this video, listened to the song, and bawled! All I could think was "How can I be so worked up about gender when this baby God has given to me to carry is completely healthy! Amy gave birth to a child knowing the entire time that their time would be extremely limited!" They look so in love with her, and at peace in this video! I know they cried. I know they mourned, but it's amazing how much of God you can see in them by the peace on their faces.
I can't imagine the pain of losing a child! I'm so glad I'm getting far enough along that I feel her kick, so I know she's OK in there. It's such an amazing and humbling honor to know that God has trusted me with one of his precious children. I just cherish the time that little Madison is completely dependent on me. Why do I let such mundane things work me up? Why can't I just be thankful she's healthy?