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I’m kind of in a “funk” today. I don’t really know why, but it feels like more than the usual “Monday Blues.” I’m not sure if it’s because I was home in Columbia City for three days, and just realized how much I want to move back, or what. I’m aware everyday of how much I want to move back, but I think being up there for three days made it front and center to me again. I wish I could just pick my house up and put it up north. I know there are people that live this far away from their mom and some even farther, but I don’t know how they do it! Especially being pregnant! I’ve hated going through this pregnancy “without” my mom. I talk to her all the time and I get to see her fairly often, but it’s not enough. If there was a job available for Tony up there that paid what he gets paid now, it would probably be a “raise” for us because our house payment wouldn’t be as much. (most likely…)

I know in reality that even IF (which is a HUGE word concerning this topic!) Tony was on board with this move, we couldn’t do it until after Madison’s born, and it wouldn’t be until right before school starts in the Fall of 2009 so I could go back to IPFW and finish my degree. I know it’s not going to happen, but I guess it helps me to think about “what-if?” I torture myself by looking at houses in Fort Wayne and Columbia City almost daily, but I can’t help it.

Maybe someday I’ll get to move “home” but I guess for now I better just make the most of where I’m at…